Be Still, Wait, Listen

Do you ever have those weeks where you feel like everything you read or hear is being spoken straight to you? This has been one of those weeks for me. So much of what I have read in this past week has contained the message to be still in the midst of everything else around me. For those that know me well, you know this is not the easiest for me to do. I am naturally a helper and therefore am always pouring myself out to help others- whether they want the help or not.

However, I am awful at receiving help from others and will push myself until I have nothing left. To be still and listen requires me to stop focusing on everyone else and the help I think they need and to simply rest in Him. It requires me to listen, without adding my own advice. (I am sure some of you will get a good laugh out of that knowing that I love to speak my own thoughts into situations.) It also requires me to listen to myself, my body, and my emotions- something I often find myself avoiding.

While Tuesday started out as any other day, it quickly took a turn completely off of my plan. (I am still amazed at how God works and the timing of the last blog post.) Within a couple of hours of being at work, I was in tons of pain but just kept on working... After arguing with my co-workers about needing to stay so that I could work with one of my teams, I finally listened and made the drive home. It wasn't until 7:00 in the evening, when the pain was only getting worse, that I gave into my body and asked for help from friends around me. The rest is history... a friend was at my apartment in less than 20 minutes to take me to an ER, a CT scan confirmed appendicitis, an ambulance was called, I was directly admitted to the hospital, and surgery was scheduled for first thing in the morning. 

Don't let the smile fool you, this was post pain meds. 

Now, whether I liked the idea or not, I was forced to be still, forced to listen to the Lord, my body, and those around me, forced to simply sit and rest in His presence. So, I sat and listened. I practiced This is good because... and asked the Lord to open my heart to what He wants to show me without being able to offer up my own opinions and advice to the situation. 

This is good because... my appendix hadn't ruptured just yet, a dear friend and I sat and laughed about the craziness of what was happening (after I had pain meds, of course), my mom was able to come down and stay with me, the surgery was early enough in the week that I can still fly to Michigan for Spring Break, I will finally be able to eat Lupe's again after not being able to for a couple of months, I am getting much needed rest and have no guilt about slowing down, a precious friend from my small group came by with flowers, and I could just keep on going. 

Here is just a glimpse of what I heard... 

Don, my paramedic, lost two very close friends over the last two days and his heart was hurting- one to suicide and the other from injuries sustained years earlier. As a retired Houston firefighter, he has seen some tough things. We talked about life, about how neither of his friends will have to continue suffering, about how each one was fighting a different battle, but they were finally at peace. We discussed our grandmas and how much his meant to him and mine to me. We talked missions when he noticed my Parental Care Ministries shirt. 

JoJo, my nurse in pre-op, is a single mom raising her two boys. Her oldest is in high school and has special needs. Her younger son is in middle school. She shared how much the schools were helping with her older boy and how she is able to celebrate the normal things with her younger son. 

Cinny, my nurse on the floor, has one son in elementary school. As we talked, she shared whose class he was in at one of our Cy-Fair elementary schools. When she shared the name of the teacher, my smile widened. I shared with her that his teacher is one of the best second grade teachers he could possibly have. I was able to tell her that we send teachers to watch her because she is that good. It was her smile that widened then. Parents send their kids to school for more hours in the day than they get with them. To share that he is not just in good hands, but amazing hands, was such a treat.

Karen, our housekeeper, walked in with the most beautiful smile on her face. She gently asked if she could come in and get the trash and dirty linens. She mentioned how wonderful the room felt, as she was usually hot from working so hard. While I invited her to stay, she was only able to be in the room for a minute or two. 

As for what I saw, it seemed that every person that cared for me along the way was from a different country. Each person coming together for one common goal, my health and the health of those around me. Y'all I wanted to tear up just at the sight of this. The beauty of seeing people from all over the world walk in and out of my room reminded me of the diversity in God's people. It was a beautiful sight in a time where there is so much fear about those that are different. 

While the week went nothing as I had planned, I know without a doubt that none of this was by chance. I sit grateful for what God allowed me to see and hear in just that short time, for healing, and for His constant provisions. May I continue to be still, wait, and listen.